Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize