nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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