He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
