dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
