uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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