I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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