If that was your dad, he is hot
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
