We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
