you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
