A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize