He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
