I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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