I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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