We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
