He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
