My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
