id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize