So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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