You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Shame is for Republicans.
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