I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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