Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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