Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
