I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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