dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
