How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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