Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
