Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
