if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
