My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
