I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
