OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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