sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
