I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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