At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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