please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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