I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
