best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
