I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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