whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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