He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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