how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sarcasm needs its own font
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
