He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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