it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
