ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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