last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
