you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
