she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
