I must be too annoying 4 u.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
