I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
