How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
