I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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