Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
