He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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