I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Nicole vs. Life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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