Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
