Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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