Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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(718): View more from New York

We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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(619): View more from California

i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

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(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

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(323): View more from California

I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

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(703): View more from Virginia

She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.

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