do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
