She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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