your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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