I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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