I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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