butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
