I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
