Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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