The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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