what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
