this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
