I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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